The Integral Relationship Preamble
By David Sunfellow

People in healthy
integral relationships
strive to...

be conscious because the more conscious we are of ourselves, others, and the forces influencing our lives, the more capacity we have to create happy, healthy lives and relationships; be honest because dishonesty obscures the truth and engenders confusion; be authentic because pretending to be someone we are not disconnects us from ourselves and others; be exceptional listeners because listening, deeply, is one of the rarest, most valuable and transformative gifts we can give; be exceptional communicators because speaking clearly, and precisely, makes it possible to understand and be understood; spend time alone, exploring our depths because the better we know ourselves, the more fully we can connect with others; seek to uncover, heal, and transform shadow issues because unconscious destructive forces exist in all human beings -- and terrorize those who ignore them; create safe places because the parts of ourselves -- and others -- that need healing the most fight or flee if they feel threatened; accept responsibility for our lives and realities because believing others are responsible for our successes and failures harms them and disempowers us; be compassionate because everyone is imperfect and we must express compassion to others if we hope to receive it ourselves; love wholeheartedly and unconditionally because love is the heart and soul of life and when we are connected to this elemental, irresistible force, all things are possible; pay attention to timing because good deeds, offered at the wrong time, can be hurtful; change, grow, evolve because this is the nature of life, and things that do not change, grow, and evolve, die; cultivate an adventurous spirit because only those who follow their soul's deepest impulses can realize their full potential; see the humor in life because laughter heals the body, clears the mind, frees the heart, and lifts the spirit; include everything, exclude nothing because whole pictures broaden perspectives and deepen connections, while partial pictures encourage misunderstanding and suffering; learn integral theory, practice, language because the more comprehensive our world view, the more resources we have to understand our place, and everyone else's, in the grand scheme of things; invoke the higher, deeper, all-knowing, all-powerful forces of life because journeys made without the guidance, protection, and loving presence of our Higher Selves, are dangerous and unsuccessful; find and fulfill our particular purpose because finding and fulfilling our particular purpose infuses our life with meaning and moves all life one step closer to the Divine; join with others because joining with others is where our deepest learning, greatest happiness and ultimate destiny lie.

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